24 january 2000

Happy Belated New Year, kids. Life has, in accordance with a Chinese curse someone must have wished on me, been interesting.

I found out what been causing the sciatica that has been plaguing me for the past four months. I have a ruptured disc in my L5 vertebra. I ought to try scanning the MRI film; it's really quite clear -- just this little squib poking out from between the bones. I'm having surgery to correct it on February 8th. I understand that it's microsurgery, and that the doctor will just remove the bit poking out and maintain the rest of the disc. I have to spend two weeks practically immobile, but I should eventually be 100%.

I won't lie. I'm terrified. My beloved Iain won't be here; he's going to be working in the data center in Arizona. My parents will look after me, but it's his face I want to see when I wake up. With every day that passes, as the surgery gets closer, I realize how very much I love him and need him to be by my side. Mom will have every last scrap of contact info, but it won't be the same as having him at my bedside when I wake up. I'm making the best of it, though.

It's the post-op instructions that are making me nervous. I can't drive, nor ride in the car for more than 15-20 minutes. I have to sleep with a towel under my back if I sleep on my back, and under my waist with a pillow between my knees if I'm on my side. I have to sit in a recliner with a lumbar pillow... the list goes on and on. I'm terrified of a re-rupture. I just want to go back to who I was. I'm tired of not being able to walk across a parking lot. I'm tired of not being the woman Iain fell in love with, and I'm tired of being frustrated and in pain.

I also got laid off the week I had my MRI. They just up and eliminated my position. I'm getting to be okay about it -- I think I've achieved the "bitter disgust" stage of grief. I have a new job, though, so that's cool. Right now it's boring, but I'm sure it'll get better.

The coolest thing that's happened lately is that Donna and Ernie, a couple of SCA friends, have written a murder mystery, and I got a sneak preview!

It's called Luddington: Trouble on the Rocks, and I loved it. The action is great, the story is interesting, and the characters are really compelling. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. I was thrilled when she told me that they have a series planned! I can't wait to read the next book. I've already told my mom about it, and I'm planning on buying her a copy. Donna tells me that they're planning a website; when it's up, I'll be posting the address.

It's getting really late, so I'm going to wind this up. I'll try to update more often...